A sticky situation

For all you Mormons out there who wonder why semen seems so sticky, there is a simple biological explanation. But you may not like it.

Semen from a wide variety of species forms a “plug” that prevents a subsequent sex partner’s sperm from reaching the egg.

Some species form a “hard plug,” while others form a “soft plug.” We humans happen to be of the soft plug variety. Species that form a soft plug have evolved a penis shape that is exquisitely capable of removing a previous male’s soft plug, so that a male’s own sperm can pass this barrier and race toward the egg. Thrusting during sex facilitates soft plug removal. Species that form a hard semen plug generally have a bone in the penis that helps dislodge the previous male’s plug.

This entire scenario reeks of polyandry, when you think about it. Then consider the fact that we are made in God’s image, and that many Mormons believe that God and Joseph Smith are polygynists, and that women do not practice polyandry in the afterlife (i.e. women can be sealed to only one man, while men can be sealed to many women).

Whether resurrected beings have genitals is an entirely different matter, of course. But what does semen biology tell us about humanity in general? What does sticky semen tell us about our creation? Why would God endow men with the ability to so aptly remove a competitor’s sperm, if women were not meant to be polyandrous?