Teh Pr0n. Let me show u it.

All about the ’nacle and General Conference are stories and opinions and exhortations re pr0n, both pro and con and undecided. Recently, Letters From A Broad had a lively discussion concerning the feminist take on pr0n, which ranges as wide a gamut as the opinions amongst the various factions of LDSdom. However varied the opinions, all seem to agree that the overriding purpose of pr0n is to arouse.

Nowhere, however, have I seen a discussion of genre romance, erotic fiction, or erotica as agents provocateur of arousal. This is most likely because I’m the new kid on the ’nacle block and have just missed it, but even in the lengthy discussions of sex, masturbation, pr0n, and various and sundry other sub-topics of sex, I’ve not seen it mentioned. ’Tis a puzzlement.

Amongst other things, I write genre romance with an edge. The edge isn’t sex; the edge is previously unexplored themes in genre romance like, oh, the juxtaposition of spirituality and sexuality while still heavy on external conflict. This earns no brownie points with agents and acquisitions editors. (The cry, “But we don’t know where to shelve it!” is still ringing in my head, even after a year.)

I don’t write erotic fiction, which is different from romance in that its sole purpose is to arouse yet has emotional content, but very little plot and more often than not, I’ll choose a story that promises a weighty external conflict. It is also different from erotica in that the sex in erotic fiction serves a purpose within the story but isn’t the story. I do occasionally write straight erotica in small doses, but, quite frankly, disemboweled sex (i.e., without an emotional connection) doesn’t really do anything for me. Kinda like looking at pictures of nekkid peoples doesn’t really turn me on although I’m a visual learner.

While my husband teases me about my pr0n, I don’t really know how to draw any lines between genre romance where the sexual content is anything from kiss-and-fade-to-black to take-a-cold-shower-graphic, erotic fiction, and erotica—because it’s all meant to arouse. It may arouse me more easily simply because I’m 40 and therefore have the libido of a 17-year-old boy, but with regard to romance and some erotic fiction (occasionally dubbed Romantica™), the aim is to arouse through the conduit of emotional connection and love.

Regardless my comments on Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight here and elsewhere, it’s an erotic tale. All the subtext is there, naturally, but without having to read in between any lines whatsoever, the scenes between Edward and Bella wherein he doesn’t kiss her, but sniffs at her neck, are hawt. It’s all in the execution. Eugene Woodbury’s upcoming novel, Angel Falling Softly had me catching my breath in a few places, too, though his sex scenes are simply elegant.

It did occur to me that perhaps the written word not otherwise slapped with the label “Penthouse Forum” is seen as literature, which is an art form. I mean, do you read a 350-plus-page novel for the sex? I think not. You read it for the story; it just takes too much work and a rather lot of brainpower to read one of these things and doing it for the sex is counterproductive. There is effort involved, the reader’s effort, the contract between author and reader—

—but it’s arousing and that’s one of its purposes.

So by that definition and within the context of the never-ending exhortations by Teh Brethren to avoid that which arouses the natural man, is it pr0n?

Discuss.

What’s in your nightstand drawer?

I think it’s important to have a well-stocked nightstand that includes a variety of items to enhance one’s sexual experience. Some of the items that I like to keep on hand are:

• lube: my current favorite is a silicone-based lubricant called “Swiss Navy.” There’s also KY, warming gel, and edible/flavored lube
• vibrator
• massage oil and lotion in favorite scents
• a variety of condoms–with & without spermicide, some novelty colors and flavors

Some items that I keep nearby, though not in the drawer:

• candles and matches
• an iPod dock for some iTunes playlists that are especially compiled just for our intimate time
• extra pillows
• a towel (though I think I’m going to adopt the red washcloth idea soon)
• lingerie
• sometimes our laptops are at hand so we can watch a bit of a movie together or do some internet searching on a particular topic

Earlier in our married years we had some sex reference books next to our bed. We’ve also had some items that haven’t remained a part of our nightstand cache. For example, handcuffs I found way too creepy [fyi, Sport Sheets products are a far safer, more comfy alternative to handcuffs]. We’ve had various edible concoctions and kama sutra potions that, while interesting for their novelty value, haven’t remained mainstays for us.

I’m curious…what’s in your nightstand drawer?

About the Visitors’ Center

Growing up Mormon, we’re often told the controlling, mean-spirited, disparaging joke that, “your body is a temple, not a visitors’ center.”

We disagree.

Our bodies are indeed temples, vital links between ourselves and the divine in the universe. But equally importantly, our bodies are visitors’ centers, and this is a cause for celebration. Over time, our bodies have welcomed many different visits from a variety of guests — spouses, lovers, children, friends, self. Though those visits, and the human connections they bring, we have come to better know ourselves, others, and the universe.

This blog celebrates Mormon sexuality, in all its forms. We rejoice at the multiplicity of forms of sexual expression, and condemn no one for their personal, consenting choices. We are not ashamed of our sexuality, and we reject any who would tell us to feel shame over our bodies’ natural role as both temple and visitors’ center. Through our discussions here, we hope to come to better understand the fascinating mix of sexuality and spirituality in our own lives and the lives of our loved ones.

And we welcome you to join us for discussion at our visitors’ center here online.