Lily
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Moriah JovanA little bit of cleavage
Posted by Lily on December 19, 2008
Today’s Exponent post got me thinking about my own relationship to my breasts, which is complex. When I was a teen and realized that my breasts got me a lot of attention from guys, I realized that I could use them to my advantage. I knew that guys wanted them and as soon as I let them under my shirt, they were pretty helpless (why is that??). It seemed to whet their appetites and leave them wanting more. This undeniable attraction that guys had with my chest was mystifying even as I marveled that it held such sway and used that to my advantage.
As I’ve gotten older, I’m still often amazed at how a small bit of cleavage can catch the attention of almost any man (and some women, too, but I’m just now starting to notice that). Even in my most professional of relationships, I can catch a guy’s eyes darting down to my chest. And I wonder, what is going through his mind when he does that? What is he hoping to see? Does it arouse him? Does it send mixed messages about my intentions? Or is it just plain curiosity?
I still seem to enjoy the power that my breasts wield–even though mine are far from being as perky and as attractive as they were 20 years ago. They create a kind of marker between me and the men around me that signals our differences and the potential for danger and/or illicit behavior. I can’t think of another body part that so readily achieves this type of nuanced communication–that suggests “I am woman and you are man” and hints at an ensuing tension between us.
G said
It is rather unusual for me to be in a situation where my chest draws any attention, not being exceptionally well-endowed and with a wardrobe that is more geared towards t-shirts. On those rare occasions when I notice my cleavage being noticed (usually when I am wearing a borrowed item of clothing) my initial emotional response is typically shame/ guilt/ “I-should-have-worn-a-turtle-neck”.
I think it wonderful and healthy that you have an appreciation for the sexuality of your body. I can give lip service to that, but still have my implicit hang ups that lean the other way.
G said
(revision: ‘lip service’ isn’t quite the connotation I wanted in my previous comment. Second try: I fully support such a healthy view of one’s sexuality, and the sexual nature of various body parts… but in spite of that conscious stance I do recognize that I still have subconscious buttons that buzz at me, buttons deeply rooted in the traditions I was brought up in.)
Tom Sawyer said
As a man mildly obsessed with cleavage I’m just as mystified as you by the attraction. I see nice cleavage and some pavlovian switch is triggered — feels very primal and mysterious. I’ve felt that way as long as I can remember, even as a child too young to know what “sex” was. It’s like the corner of a wrapped christmas present left tantalizingly open, hinting at something wonderful inside… an electric race track, a videogame console, etc.
Cleavage is so feminine, the promise of something mysterious, exciting. It’s right there, fully visible, but unacknowledged by both the bearer and the viewer as you talk about something entirely benign.
Joe said
Tom summed it up perfectly. I’d add that there might be a Freudian layer to this. There’s something very comforting and safe about breasts. I was always attracted to large-breasted girls in high school. There was one, in particular, that was absolutley huge. Tons of sexual tension between us, but nothing ever resulted. She wasn’t really my type, but I couldn’t stop thinking about her breasts. I guess that’s the moral of the story for you smaller-breasted women – big boobs may be fun, but they can’t nurture a relationship. Luckily I married a woman with very ample breasts – it’s hard for me to imagine making love to someone without much to work with, you know?
So women have always been self-conscious about breast size. What about men and penis size? I’m guessing that’s a completely separate post…
Joe (Two) said
Cleavage is overrated.
Big and small I like them all.
Okay, not all breasts are ten, but size isn’t the determining factor. I’ve seen plenty of [pictures of] A-cups that are far cuter than D-cups, though I tend to gravitate toward a pert B. I do have two general rules of thumb: nothing bigger than a D and they must be natural–with few exceptions I find implants ugly or comical.
D'Arcy said
I’ve had an ample bosom since High School. I have to say, I’ve used it to advantage a few times….but I’ve also felt bad about it and covered it up more often than not. It’s an interesting journey that a woman takes with her breasts.