Elder Norton’s Most Embarrassing moment…

This is a story that Mike Norton posted to exmo-social.com back in June of 2006. I asked for (and received) permission to repost it (because I thought it was hilarious), but never got around to posting it on my blog because I was worried it might be too controversial. Yet, somehow, it seems it might be appropriate here at The Visitors’ Center. Enjoy!

When I was a fresh faced punk serving the Lard as a Mormon missionary, my companion and I went to a fellow member’s home for dinner one night. This was the home of a young recently married couple and, I think, the grandmother of one of them lived with them. So, my companion and I, the young, recently married couple, and granny had dinner. Granny seemed to be half deaf and three quarters to senile.

It would be a serious understatement to say the wife of this couple was hot. She was SMOKIN’ hot and she had…um…shall we say…a SMOKIN’ rack. Hey, I was a missionary, I wasn’t blind. To make things more difficult for me, Sister Hotness was wearing a tight sweater that evening and it looked to be a bit cold in their home, if you get my drift.

So, during the course of our meal, I asked the young couple how long they had been married and where they got married. However, being an idiot, I asked them if they got married in the temple (as if it was any of my business. I mean, how awkward would it have been if she had dropped her head in shame and said, “No Elder, we weren’t worthy.”?!?!?).

However, instead of saying, “So, were you married in the temple?” what actually came out of my mouth was, “So, were you married in the nipple?”