Mormon sex search queries

A whole lot of people out there in cyberspace have questions about Mormon sexuality!

How do I know? Because they keep typing amusing questions into search engines and landing on my blog. In the tradition of “Ask Chanson via Google” I & II, I’d like to take the time to answer some of these queries. The following are all real queries typed by anonymous readers that led them to my personal blog (not to The Visitors’ Center), but I thought I’d post the Mormon sex ones here in hopes the Mormon sexperts of The Visitors’ Center can help out with further clarifications and advice for these confused seekers!

Q: if you view porn will you be excommunicated from the lds church?

A: I think it’s possible, but unlikely. If they ex’ed everyone who viewed porn, there wouldn’t be enough priesthood-holders left to run the church.

Q: do mormons go topless at the beach

A: Not usually. Overall they tend to be very big on “modesty”.

Q: can mormons have sex?

A: yes

Q: lds single woman chastity masterbation

A: yes, exactly. I mean the last two follow from the first three.

Q: exmormon & sex

A: Right again!

Q: are mormon girls horny

Sex addiction?

I want to believe.

Yep, Duchovny’s in rehab for it.  (Married to Tea Leoni, too.) I guess that explains the surprising number of appearances in the Red Shoe Diaries series. Maybe they should have called it The XXX Files. Or maybe he was just getting into character for his role in Californication.

A recent CNN article about sex addiction sounds surprisingly . . . Mormonish. Check this out:

A lot of teenagers develop their sexuality with pornography, and then find that relational sex isn’t as satisfying, Weiss said. Porn gives them a “very strong chemical hit,” and alters ways of thinking about sex, somewhat like the classic “ring the bell, feed the dog” stimulus-response mechanism. Addicts thus learn to become sexually attached to objects, and have trouble getting the same kind of satisfaction from sex in a relationship, he said.

Where’s the line between healthy sexuality and sex addiction, anyway? It seems to me that people raised in the hyper-sensitive Mormon culture are quick to call any sort of porn use a sex addiction. And that makes me wonder.

Granting that sex addiction exists, and is a real problem for some people — how do you tell a real sex addict who needs help, as compared to just an otherwise healthy person who chooses to deviate from the hyper-sensitive baseline of Mormon expectations?