Want to save your marriage? Try Adultery.

Ever heard about the website The Ashley Madison Agency?  As their website boasts, it is “The World’s Premier Discreet Dating Service, with over 2,140,000 likeminded members.” 

 

“So what?” you say, “Internet dating is as old as the Internet, and it has even become socially acceptable.”

 

Ah, but this isn’t your ordinary dating agency, this is a dating service that specializes in married people looking for a little somethin’ somethin’ on the side.  Their tagline, “Life is Short. Have an Affair,” even comes with a little “TM” to indicate that it has been trademarked.  Wonderful.

 

I’ve been hearing Ashley-Madison commercials on the radio for the past few months.  The Ashley-Madison phenomenon also pops up on TV now and then.  The website boasts, “As Seen On: Larry King, FOXNews, 20/20, Ellen Degeneres, Dr. Phil.”

 

I’ll admit it, when I hear these radio commercials, my first thought is, “What the F%@&!?!?  Who are these people?” followed by a stupor of thought.

 

My second thought is, “What the F%@%?!?!  Who are these people?”

 

These people are out there.  They walk among us.  In fact, as of this writing, the Ashley-Madison website says that there are “32,504 local members online right now!” 

 

“32,504 members?”  No, more like 32,504 cheaters who are going straight to Hell, than you very much! J

 

But maybe I’m wrong.  Maybe these 32,504 members are just trying to save their marriages.  At least that is what Mira Kirshenbaum argues.

 

A new self-help book by Mira Kirshenbaum called “When Good People Have Affairs” argues that an affair can help save a struggling marriage, and that because society has so far failed to have a sympathetic discussion of infidelity, the positive sides of cheating have been ignored.

 

Hmmmmm…

 

If only this book had come out before Mother’s Day.  Oh well, my wife’s birthday is coming up…

 

But seriously, I ask again, “What the F%@%?!?!”

 

Here’s what Kirshenbaum argues:

“Sometimes an affair can be the best way for the person who has been unfaithful to get the information and impetus to change.”

“I’m not encouraging affairs, but underlying the complicated mess is a kind of deep and delicate wisdom. It’s an insight that something isn’t working and needs to change.”

Most philanderers are good, kind people, she argues, who are seeking real happiness and love.

“These people are suffering terribly and need to be relieved of their sense of guilt and shame because those emotions are paralyzing.”

“If handled right, an affair can be therapeutic, give clarity and jolt people from their inertia.”

“You could think of it as a radical but necessary medical procedure. If your marriage is in cardiac arrest, an affair can be a defibrillator.”

But she is convinced that an adulterer must never confess, not even if their partner asks directly.

“This is the one area in which the truth usually creates far more damage in the long run,” she said.

“If you care that much about honesty, figure out who you want to be with, commit to that relationship and devote the rest of your life to making it the most honest relationship you can.”

Wow.  If you are scoring at home, Kirshenbaum advocates both cheating AND dishonesty. 

 

So what say you, Vistor’s-Center-ites?  Are you thinking, “Woo Hoo!  Where do I sign up?”  Or are you like me and thinking, “What the F%@&?!?!”