The Carnal Bite

how great that I’m not the only one in the world who is asked by little old ladies at church, “What’s a nice Mormon girl like you doing writing about vampires?” — says Jana Riess. So Stephenie Meyer isn’t the only one. Is the Mormon teen vampire romance now the new Jack Weyland?

I know this isn’t just a Mormon thing (it’s part of a larger trend: Buffy, Ann Rice, etc.), but I’m not surprised to see Mormons joining right in. The fit couldn’t be more perfect. Love and romance are at center stage, but all that scary sex is replaced with the family-friendly entertainment alternative: violence. As I discussed in my post Rated R “just for violence,” I don’t get why healthy depictions of sexuality are totally taboo for young people, but violence can be used as harmless fun for kids.

In the case of vampire romances, it looks like a situation where a teenage girl wants to imagine the male lead having an intense and passionate physical need for her. Yet, perversely, it’s safer to revel in this feeling of physical desire in the form of “blood-lust” — the desire for the death-bearing bite that consumes her — and avoid the (much scarier) real thing. In a nutshell, this whole thing reeks of a rather screwed-up fear of healthy sexuality. Of course I’m totally biased on the subject. Am I being unfair?

Pornography Addiction on FMH

In case you haven’t seen it yet, two posts at FMH today kicked off a series on pornography addiction:

Pornography Series: Introduction

Series: Pictures of Pornography and the LDS People

Some ideas on getting what you want from your partner

Recently Eve left this comment on ExponentBlog in response to this post about sex during menstruation:

“I’m pleased to ready so have many positive attitudes. Personally I don’t have an issue with it and my husband says he doesn’t mind, but when I start thinking about the mess and cleaning up I loose all the excitement…

With some previous partners I engaged in mutual oral sex with tampon and all (”mouse tail” ) The current level of intimacy with my husband isn’t there yet.

I am actually needing to find a comfortable way of educating him about my body and it’s rhythms in a way that would not sound condescending. Suggestions?”

A few ideas for you:

• It sounds like, from your comment, that you’ve had previous partners who understood your body better than your current spouse. Is there some non-threatening way for you to suggest new (to him) activities that you previously enjoyed with others? Maybe you can gently suggest trying something “new” together?

• You could pick up a book like The Guide to Getting it On and read it together.

• Certainly it can take some time for your spouse to learn what pleases you. If this is a fairly recent marriage, it might be unfair to expect him to learn it all right away. It sounds like you have the advantage of experience and can guide your relationship in a way that will lead to a better place for both of you.

• Have you tried watching something sexy together? Is there an actor/actress or a genre of film that might be particularly titillating for you two or might be a conversation opener?