We actually talked about it a few nights ago. He said that he understood that it was important to me, and that anything that would help me in the bedroom would ultimately gratify him. He says that he needs to get over his ‘fear’ of sex toys being something outside of his comfort zone, and that he was completely willing to try. I think in my case it would definitely help me keep pace, and help my descreased libido caused by the depo provera shot (which I hate, by the way.)

P.S. We are not mormon, and we are not married. I come from a way more conservative background (in terms of sex) than he does, and we lost our virginity to each other, and that is why it surprises me that he has been so much more hesitant to try things than I have.

Let’s see….well, I’ve had periods of sexual activity of many years without any lube or toys or anything creative. I’d say that the sex was fine (even great) and that we found various ways of making it interesting even without the accessories. Also, because I’m a pretty “natural” kind of person (see my post about going green in the bedroom) there are times when plastic toys and other stuff seems too artificial for my taste.

So I think I can say that sex can definitely be great without any of the toys. But it’s also important to remember that for many women the toys make it far easier to achieve orgasm, especially if they’re trying to keep pace with their partner. Or it may just seem more “fun” and playful for whatever reason–for example, many women who are using hormone-based BC have decreased libido and the accessories can make it easier to get into the “mood”. I would suggest that you discuss this with your partner and let him know how important these are to you and why you want to use them. Then perhaps you can find a happy medium where you can each have your way sometimes (perhaps alternating?).

Personally, I find that using toys, wearing lingerie, lighting candles, and/or using tasty lube often happens when I/we have more time for intimacy–especially more time for foreplay. On weekday nights this usually doesn’t tend to happen for me and my spouse because we have to wait until the kids are in bed and we’re usually pretty tired by that point. So it tends to be more of a weekend thing for us. I suspect that in other ’seasons’ of our lives that will probably change and we’ll be using the fun stuff more frequently. Either way I want to make sure I have it handy in my well-stocked nightstand so we can spontaneously use it whenever the mood strikes.

various condoms (colored, flavored, spermicide, regular, depends on what mood we are in)
2-3 different type of vibrators, though only one is used regularly
I think the lube is glide something (don’t like the smell of KY)
Some pieces of lingerie not put away
No games yet, have used the paint, but messy, works well in tub.

Have a small plastic tub with items we have tried but either don’t use often or didn’t like, but sometimes use just for fun.

going to have to start hiding these things from the kids as they are getting older.

Jessawhy: I keep meaning to do body paint but DH is concerned about clean up. The saran wrap is a good idea! We’ve also got a plastic table cloth which I might decide needs to be repurposed! Also interested in the Love Eggs (or whatever they are). I’ve heard of them & considered them, but never really ended up doing more investigation.