Lily
Doctor Jane
Lotus
Joseph
chanson
Jacob
Tom Sawyer
Moriah JovanWhat’s in your nightstand drawer?
Posted by Lily on May 5, 2008
I think it’s important to have a well-stocked nightstand that includes a variety of items to enhance one’s sexual experience. Some of the items that I like to keep on hand are:
- lube: my current favorite is a silicone-based lubricant called “Swiss Navy.” There’s also KY, warming gel, and edible/flavored lube
- vibrator
- massage oil and lotion in favorite scents
- a variety of condoms–with & without spermicide, some novelty colors and flavors
Some items that I keep nearby, though not in the drawer:
- candles and matches
- an iPod dock for some iTunes playlists that are especially compiled just for our intimate time
- extra pillows
- a towel (though I think I’m going to adopt the red washcloth idea soon)
- lingerie
- sometimes our laptops are at hand so we can watch a bit of a movie together or do some internet searching on a particular topic
Earlier in our married years we had some sex reference books next to our bed. We’ve also had some items that haven’t remained a part of our nightstand cache. For example, handcuffs I found way too creepy [fyi, Sport Sheets products are a far safer, more comfy alternative to handcuffs]. We’ve had various edible concoctions and kama sutra potions that, while interesting for their novelty value, haven’t remained mainstays for us.
I’m curious…what’s in your nightstand drawer?
Joe said
A bunch of Crown Skinless condoms, some KY and toilet paper. You’re gonna make me cry – our sex life sounds completely vanilla in comparison. Sigh…
Doctor Jane said
A bunch of science books and pens (not for sex). KY liquid is next to the books. Sometimes it spills on the books.
Joseph said
Great question, Lily.
Let’s see, we’ve got:
-Condoms, several different types.
-Lubes, a few kinds.
-Dice. (heh)
-Vibrators. The longtime favorite, a 5-speed that she calls, “Charlie”; plus a small bullet vibrator, and two others that she doesn’t like as much, but that see some use.
-Fingertip gloves.
-No handcuffs, but an array of handkerchiefs are close by.
-Candles, but those pretty much are just for plain vanilla “light the pretty candle” use, nothing too crazy.
And a bunch of books, but those are just for reading, nothing really sexy.
Lily said
But Joe, that’s so easy to remedy! You could certainly surprise your partner with a love box full of all kinds of goodies, right? If you don’t have a sex store nearby, you can order whatever you’d need from drugstore.com or blowfish.com (unless you live in Texas, in which case you might have to cross some state lines to get your goodies)
DoctorJane: methinks you’ve been spending a few too many hours in the clinic.
Joseph: now I’m totally curious about the dice. Hmmmm….(note: doing a google search for sex dice makes for some pretty interesting websites)
Joe said
Lily – been there, done that. Some of the lingerie I’ve bought her over the years is still unopened. No real interest in anything different. The things they never tell you in YMs…
Lily said
Joe:
I’m curious if there are things you could keep in your own drawer that would be to enhance your own sexual experience even if your partner isn’t interested in joining in–such as a good lube, some sexy movies, etc. I think everyone, even couples with an active sex life, should have a few items that are just for their personal pleasure.
jessawhy said
For a baby shower, of all things, I got a bottle of fancy organic body oil (not sure what kind of nut), that the giver recommended instead of KY. We love it.
Chocolate body paint
Saran Wrap (well, I keep it in the kitchen, but bring it in the bedroom occasionally)
Board Game “A Hot Affair with Your Partner” (that’s under the bed)
Suction cup Dildo
Japanese Love Eggs (not sure if this is the right name, but they’re silicone and used vaginally, or as a pelvic floor exercise) I really like these.
The I-pod. We don’t have a docking system, yet, but if we turn the volume all the way up, it’s nice background music.
I also think we have a small sex book, but it doesn’t get much use.
xJane said
I, too, keep lube on hand and have a few vibrators that live in the bathroom or the nightstand, depending. In my husband’s nightstand draw, he keeps a cock ring of sorts. Oh, and we’ve got a copy of the kama sutra, usually at the foot of the bed.
Jessawhy: I keep meaning to do body paint but DH is concerned about clean up. The saran wrap is a good idea! We’ve also got a plastic table cloth which I might decide needs to be repurposed! Also interested in the Love Eggs (or whatever they are). I’ve heard of them & considered them, but never really ended up doing more investigation.
Joe said
Hmm, why is someone named Joe posting essentially what I was going to post. (Okay, except the condoms; I got rid of those years ago when I got a vasectomy. And we prefer Astroglide.) I’ve tried talking my wife into adding a toy, but she reacts very negatively to that.
Todd said
I have no drawers so wife keeps fun stuff in her stand:
various condoms (colored, flavored, spermicide, regular, depends on what mood we are in)
2-3 different type of vibrators, though only one is used regularly
I think the lube is glide something (don’t like the smell of KY)
Some pieces of lingerie not put away
No games yet, have used the paint, but messy, works well in tub.
Have a small plastic tub with items we have tried but either don’t use often or didn’t like, but sometimes use just for fun.
going to have to start hiding these things from the kids as they are getting older.
Jill said
How often to do use the said items in your nightstands/other places? My partner has made a few comments about sex without any toys or lube even being better because it is more about us than extra things we are adding into the mix. I am more of the mentality that if sex is more enjoyable with acessories than why not use them often.
I was just wondering what the frequency of use the vibrators/other toys are in your sex lives?
Lily said
Jill:
That’s a great question and I will probably use it for a post sometime soon because I’d love to have input from others.
Let’s see….well, I’ve had periods of sexual activity of many years without any lube or toys or anything creative. I’d say that the sex was fine (even great) and that we found various ways of making it interesting even without the accessories. Also, because I’m a pretty “natural” kind of person (see my post about going green in the bedroom) there are times when plastic toys and other stuff seems too artificial for my taste.
So I think I can say that sex can definitely be great without any of the toys. But it’s also important to remember that for many women the toys make it far easier to achieve orgasm, especially if they’re trying to keep pace with their partner. Or it may just seem more “fun” and playful for whatever reason–for example, many women who are using hormone-based BC have decreased libido and the accessories can make it easier to get into the “mood”. I would suggest that you discuss this with your partner and let him know how important these are to you and why you want to use them. Then perhaps you can find a happy medium where you can each have your way sometimes (perhaps alternating?).
Personally, I find that using toys, wearing lingerie, lighting candles, and/or using tasty lube often happens when I/we have more time for intimacy–especially more time for foreplay. On weekday nights this usually doesn’t tend to happen for me and my spouse because we have to wait until the kids are in bed and we’re usually pretty tired by that point. So it tends to be more of a weekend thing for us. I suspect that in other ’seasons’ of our lives that will probably change and we’ll be using the fun stuff more frequently. Either way I want to make sure I have it handy in my well-stocked nightstand so we can spontaneously use it whenever the mood strikes.
Jill said
Thanks Lily.
We actually talked about it a few nights ago. He said that he understood that it was important to me, and that anything that would help me in the bedroom would ultimately gratify him. He says that he needs to get over his ‘fear’ of sex toys being something outside of his comfort zone, and that he was completely willing to try. I think in my case it would definitely help me keep pace, and help my descreased libido caused by the depo provera shot (which I hate, by the way.)
P.S. We are not mormon, and we are not married. I come from a way more conservative background (in terms of sex) than he does, and we lost our virginity to each other, and that is why it surprises me that he has been so much more hesitant to try things than I have.
ScottyDoo said
Nightstand? We have a whole full size cedar chest full of various items. My wife owns probably about 10-15 various dildos and vibrators, and a million other devices, lubes, lotions, games, books, etc. I should explain however that she sells sex toys, and we always try out as many items as we can. She wants to be able to tell people her actual thoughts on a product.
Steve said
Well, with two prepubescent children with no concept of respecting others’ boundaries, we’ve had to keep everything locked in a suitcase in a closet. We’ve got some really cool stuff in there, but keeping it under lock and key means it doesn’t see the (dimmed) light of day (or night) much.
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